Sunday, October 07, 2007


I've always considered myself to a be a fearless guy. Seriously. Stop laughing. Surely I had to be. I watched The Exorcist at the age of 14 and frankly found it boring and gross while my peers narrated to me in hushed tones of people who pissed in multicolor and died in fits of spasms post watching the same. I relished reading vampire and werewolf stories and more often than not sided with the creatures of the night. I even moaned their killing with not-so-uber-cool weapons such as garlic sauce when they definitely deserved a more fitful ending. A lot of that has changed since last Tuesday.

The wailing started at around 1:30 AM. It was clear, shrill and bang outside my bedroom window. It was the sound of mixed emotions. The two women (there were two different pitches) seemed to be in alternating throes of pain and pleasure. Lesbian banshees were never really a part of my fantasies hence it wouldn't be an exaggeration if I said that I was shitting bricks. And all my planning at nights of how I would unleash a kung fu storm in case of such an eventuality came to naught as I simply lay frozen on my bed.

This continued for about 15 full minutes before I could hear my parents in the hall mumbling about neutering all cats. Cats. The integral component of my worst nightmares second only to crocodiles as my primary nocturnal foes. Nevertheless, I was forced to go out with a bucket of water in hand to throw at two mangy cats that were humping away like there was no tomorrow. My neighbours soon joined me in this grand act of what could scientifically be called as enforcus coitus interuptus.

As I got back to bed I realised how shaken I really was. It wasn't just the cats. I'm almost 24 and am supposed to stand up and defend my house no matter what. With my now aged parents, sister and 4 year old niece in the house, I was supposed to guard them while I was actually playing chicken in bed. What if it were indeed a violently horny pair of lesbian banshees? What would you do?


deepanjali said...

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Rajat said...

ROTFL. So you don't like cats eh?

Anonymous said...

Scaredy boo.

Udita said...

'enforcus coitus interuptus' don't think i can forget this term for a long time to come...hahahahahaa...ROTFWL..

Lalbadshah said...

@rajat: HATE them!

@anon: Really?

@udita: :D