Tuesday, January 22, 2008

The L Club

It surprises me that this topic has never come up in any of my earlier posts. Anyway, better late than never.

Ladies, Gentlemen and Karan Johars, I am proud to publish details of the elite L club that I co-founded with my dear friend Funk on a humid night while preparing for my Digital Communication test the next day late into our 2nd year of engineering. Sometime in 2002 I think. It started just like how all great things on our good earth, such as see-through pantyhose, started.

We were discussing the futility of our lives and efforts because everytime we work hard to get something, dicks like my genetically and socially gifted roommate Mochi would surpass us with effortless ease. Be it academics or social interaction with the lot considered as an endangered species in our college, girls. We always ended up as the guys who, as I so often repeat, "haath ko aaya, mu na lagaya". So, we decided to stand for ourselves. To be proud of what was inherent to our nature. We discovered the inner Loser within us. Being the enterprising young men that we were, we didn't stop at this glorious moment of self discovery. We went ahead to found the most popular club in the history of sports entertainment. Ok, fine.. one of the most popular clubs in our college.

We immediately formed the ground rules for inclusion and code of conduct in The L Club:

1) You MUST be a loser. Achievers, please excuse.

2) The basis for you being a loser could range from absolutely no sensible reason to being the guy who gets 'Lets just be friends' from girls a lot.

3) Once included, you will propagate the ideals of the club by regularly spotting talent during your daily life and then showing an L by holding your index finger perpendicular to the ground and the thumb parallel to the ground. This L could be held out at a distance or formed over your forehead to show a sense of solidarity with the newly inducted loser.

4) When a prospective L has just been L'ed, you make sure he remembers that he has been L'ed. Rub it in.

5) Recruitment is not subject to the candidates willingness to be labeled L. If he refuses, he simply gets promoted.

6) Other than President and CEO (Funk and I), all positions are open and merit based. Positions are arbitrary and not specific to any organizational structure. But uber cool sounding positions like 'Jedi Master' or 'Ninja Master' are not in compliance with L policy.

7) If you are not sure that a person is a candidate, test him/her. Ask the candidate to ask you if you're a tree. When he does, say 'No'. Capture the reaction on his/her face followed by showing him the L. Spread the joy.

8) Although any member can recruit, all decisions made regarding recruitment or promotions by the President and CEO are binding. More so in case of the President because this is my blog and I'm the President.

We have classic celebrity examples: Vivek Oberoi, the could-be / would-be probable-ex-boyfriend of Aishwarya Rai; Jim Corr, who travels with three hot women who are all his sisters, is another classic example. A prime celebrity member is the late Ex-Minister Nagappa who escaped the clutches of the brigand Veerappan only to be shot dead by the Border Security Force who confused him for a member of the band.

As you can see, The L club has an open door policy, unlike some fraudulent uptight clubs that you might have heard of ("You do NOT talk about Fight Club!".. Jeez! Get a life.). You don't even have to apply. In fact, if you've wasted sufficient time to go through this in detail, you've been L'ed. Welcome my friend!

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Sci-Fi / Action / etc. Movies in 2008

A few that you may want to know about. As always, they might not turn out to be as good as presented, but don't we all just love trailers?

Teeth (May 2008):
Now, I know this sounds weird, but yes, horror movie creativity has apparently reached new heights (or depths) with this one. Why? Well, nothing out of the ordinary.. this movie just deals with a vag***a that bites. Yeah. I know. Ouch.
Trailer. IMDB.

10,000 BC (March 2008):
This movie about mammoths and what not with a proportionately impressive trailer and an indication of those mind numbing action movies that are classic popcorn stuff. The Independence Day types.
Trailer. IMDB.

Jumper (Feb 2008):
The Tagline of this movie is 'Anywhere is possible'. It's about a few guys who, well, jump from one place in the world to the next. Really fast. Again, the trailer is compelling. But I'm getting wary of Samuel L Jackson in his 'man-who-has-seen-the-world' roles like the one in Snakes in the Plane.
Trailer. IMDB.

21 (March 2008):
This one is apparently a true story about 6 MIT students who mastered the art of card counting to fleece Vegas casinos of millions. The Scamster movie genre, post Ocean's Eleven, is a huge favourite of mine. And I find the chick in this movie quite hot.
Trailer. IMDB.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (May 2008):
Ok, inspite of the weird-ass title, I'm still gonna watch this movie for the sake of the original series. Apparently Spielberg took such a long time for a sequel because he was looking for the right script. Ahem. Right. Anyway, might not be bad at all.
Trailer(Not yet available). IMDB.

Cloverfield (Jan 2008):
An over hyped trailer that's been doing the rounds on youtube where the monster has still not appeared anywhere has made this an internet urban legend. This one better be good. It has something to do with an extremely large monster attacking NY and the aftermath. Or something like that. Extremely confusing trailer as you will see.
Trailer. IMDB.

The Dark Knight (July 2008):
Ah, to end it grandly, the most anticipated movie of the year will undoubtedly leave you spellbound with characters like Joker looking immensely scary and brilliantly original. Add to it the presence of Christian Bale, who revived the Batman movie enterprise along with the talented Christopher Nolan and we have a winner. The bike looks too brilliant.
Trailer. IMDB.

And yes, there are others like yet another Rambo, some new Narnia movie and all that. BTW, what's with all these old guys and their sequels? Bruce Willis with Die Hard 4, Stallone with Rambo and Rocky, Harrison Ford and the Indiana Jones series.. and I even heard rumours about a new Terminator movie. A new kind of Viagra must have entered the market. Madness! But more on that later.