Sunday, May 18, 2008

Prime Reasons

These are snippets of actual conversations I've had in the recent past:

Old magazine shop owner I've known since my school days: Hey Ali! Long time buddy.. you've grown up and all.. nice to see you. How come you've shaved your head?
Me (With a sheepish grin) : Er.. to beat the heat.
Him: You're losing hair, aren't you?
Me: Yes.
Him: Get married while you still have most of it left. Otherwise... (trails off)
Me (Silently): F**k.

Aunt who I met a few days ago: Ali, this some new style?
Me: Yes.
Aunt: Hmm.. losing hair?
Me: Yes.
Aunt: How old are you?
Me: 24
Aunt: Oh.. you look 27 or something.
Me: F**k.
Aunt: You should get married you know. Otherwise...

Mom: You should get married you know.
Me: Yeah. Let me guess. Because I'm balding?
Mom(Fake stunned look): Obviously not! Girls don't look at such things.
Me: Yeah. Obviously not.
Mom: I just want to hand over all responsibilities and rest now.
Me: I'll get you a full time maid.
Mom stares.
Me: F**k.

Bald neighbourhood loser: Hey Ali! Cool look yaar!
Me: F**k.

Anyway, it basically boils down to this - People want me to get married not because I'm single, not because I'm eligible, but only because I might have a clean patch in a few years or because my mom needs someone to do the dishes. Awesome, no?


Smokin Joe said...

Ladka ab IIM jaa raha hai. Shaadi vaadi toh ho jayegi.. Ab toh jitne baal kam ho utne acche lagenge. aur intellectual lagega ladka! ;-)

Nanga Fakir said...

Bald neighbourhood loser: Hey Ali! Cool look yaar!
Me: F**k.

Killer line...

Jello said...

Dude. you are an appreciating asset. don't jump in until you get the right valuation.
Hair loss risks can be hedged out.

Lalbadshah said...

@smoking joe: Haan ye baat bhi hai

@nanga fakir: :D

@jello: Provided market conditions are stable, yes. Possibly. But then, when assets themselves are 'volatile' , then what point of waiting for valuations?

Rohit Agarwal said...

same here :((

Asad Ahmed said...

hi ... mom s girl -huntin for you ... any preference or u settlin down for a good maid to do the dishes n let ur mom take rest....