Sunday, May 18, 2008

Prime Reasons

These are snippets of actual conversations I've had in the recent past:

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Old magazine shop owner I've known since my school days: Hey Ali! Long time buddy.. you've grown up and all.. nice to see you. How come you've shaved your head?
Me (With a sheepish grin) : Er.. to beat the heat.
Him: You're losing hair, aren't you?
Me: Yes.
Him: Get married while you still have most of it left. Otherwise... (trails off)
Me (Silently): F**k.
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Aunt who I met a few days ago: Ali, this some new style?
Me: Yes.
Aunt: Hmm.. losing hair?
Me: Yes.
Aunt: How old are you?
Me: 24
Aunt: Oh.. you look 27 or something.
Me: F**k.
Aunt: You should get married you know. Otherwise...
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Mom: You should get married you know.
Me: Yeah. Let me guess. Because I'm balding?
Mom(Fake stunned look): Obviously not! Girls don't look at such things.
Me: Yeah. Obviously not.
Mom: I just want to hand over all responsibilities and rest now.
Me: I'll get you a full time maid.
Mom stares.
Me: F**k.
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Bald neighbourhood loser: Hey Ali! Cool look yaar!
Me: F**k.
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Anyway, it basically boils down to this - People want me to get married not because I'm single, not because I'm eligible, but only because I might have a clean patch in a few years or because my mom needs someone to do the dishes. Awesome, no?

6 comments:

Smokin Joe said...

Ladka ab IIM jaa raha hai. Shaadi vaadi toh ho jayegi.. Ab toh jitne baal kam ho utne acche lagenge. aur intellectual lagega ladka! ;-)

Nanga Fakir said...

Bald neighbourhood loser: Hey Ali! Cool look yaar!
Me: F**k.

Killer line...

Jello said...

Dude. you are an appreciating asset. don't jump in until you get the right valuation.
Hair loss risks can be hedged out.

Lalbadshah said...

@smoking joe: Haan ye baat bhi hai

@nanga fakir: :D

@jello: Provided market conditions are stable, yes. Possibly. But then, when assets themselves are 'volatile' , then what point of waiting for valuations?

Rohit Agarwal said...

same here :((

Asad Ahmed said...

hi ... mom s girl -huntin for you ... any preference or u settlin down for a good maid to do the dishes n let ur mom take rest....