I've Realised

.. that in an industrialised civilsation where you crib about rising fuel prices damaging your stock portfolio, an old man will still cycle you around Hazratganj in Lucknow at a constant rate of Rs. 20 only because you will not pay him more.

.. that some people try really hard. They sometimes even get what they tried for. But I will never know whether I despise them for trying or for actually getting it.

.. that managers can survive by only impressing or die trying. All the highs of your life are reduced to bullet points on your CV.

.. that a desert cooler is nothing but a big fan with water droplets being sprinkled from behind.

.. that sometimes the annoying pestering of your parents is all you want and need.

.. that somehow hostel life as a 24 year old is simply not the same as compared to when you were 19.

.. that I've left clothes to soak in the bucket for more than a day.. and they don't smell too good.

.. that come what may, we'll always be L.

Updates

It's 02:02:00 hours on a dark sunday morning. I'm in Lucknow sitting inside the computer center right after the Insti Party as it is called. Whew! Hadn't danced in a while, but had a blast! Not exactly inebriated but slightly high. It has been one heck of a week here. In fact, feels more like a month or so. The weather here sucks compared to Bangalore but getting used to it. Getting back to academic life hasn't been easy. Deadlines are always around the corner as you seek those elusive 4 to 5 hours of sleep per day. On the plus side, the campus simply rocks. I'm among some really smart people, so thats a good thing too.

I would be getting my laptop sometime towards the end of july after which I intend to resume regular blogging. If time permits that is.

Try not to miss me.

The Cinema Ego Hammer

This often happens to me watching a certain sort of cinema. Let me know if you've felt the same:

You walk out during the interval in firm strides. You have, only minutes ago, witnessed a toned Brad Pitt kill a giant in a magnificent leap and yell "Is there anyone else?". Greek heroes and sword fights galore. Your adrenalin is on a high. Your muscles are tense as you walk towards the rest room. You are walking the walk. You feel like Achilles... Hell! You ARE Achilles.

You glide towards the door marked for Men like a hunting lion on the Serengeti. A quick step in and you face the mirror. You see yourself. Thats when it hits you. It's hard, it's fast and it's painful. It's reality. You face it in the only way 12 years of schooling can teach you. You sprint towards the pot.

You stagger out after an unsatisfactory leak, stumbling towards your seat awkwardly with popcorn in both hands. Your female friends, screaming, :"Awww! Sooo Cuuuute!!" at every half a second, aren't helping either.

That's when you lose it and say, "Brad Pitt is f**king gay!".

Prime Reasons

These are snippets of actual conversations I've had in the recent past:

-----------------
Old magazine shop owner I've known since my school days: Hey Ali! Long time buddy.. you've grown up and all.. nice to see you. How come you've shaved your head?
Me (With a sheepish grin) : Er.. to beat the heat.
Him: You're losing hair, aren't you?
Me: Yes.
Him: Get married while you still have most of it left. Otherwise... (trails off)
Me (Silently): F**k.
--------------------

Aunt who I met a few days ago: Ali, this some new style?
Me: Yes.
Aunt: Hmm.. losing hair?
Me: Yes.
Aunt: How old are you?
Me: 24
Aunt: Oh.. you look 27 or something.
Me: F**k.
Aunt: You should get married you know. Otherwise...
-----------------

Mom: You should get married you know.
Me: Yeah. Let me guess. Because I'm balding?
Mom(Fake stunned look): Obviously not! Girls don't look at such things.
Me: Yeah. Obviously not.
Mom: I just want to hand over all responsibilities and rest now.
Me: I'll get you a full time maid.
Mom stares.
Me: F**k.
------------------

Bald neighbourhood loser: Hey Ali! Cool look yaar!
Me: F**k.
-----------------

Anyway, it basically boils down to this - People want me to get married not because I'm single, not because I'm eligible, but only because I might have a clean patch in a few years or because my mom needs someone to do the dishes. Awesome, no?

L'ed again

For those of you who haven't heard, I've secured admission into Indian Institute of Management, Lucknow known to many as IIM he(L)l or simply L. After 4 CAT attempts and of all the varied combinations of letters of the alphabet, it had to be this. Obviously the L club launched 6 years ago was prophetic in its formation. Known for its nightmarish course and an equally appalling sex ratio, this is one of those 'screaming L' landmarks of my life. I should get the letter tattooed. Suggestions for a strategic location for the same are not welcome.

Still, I look forward to the legendary Tundae Kabab and Lucknowi Biryani. Also a chance to redeem my Urdu. Nahin is definitely more delicate than Nakko.

Earlier, I was contemplating taking up this college called AIM, Manila . Pretty reputed in Asia. But then, figured that if, in the long run, I plan to stay here in India, L was a better brand to stick to. Besides, parents and sisters were overly concerned over the promiscuity levels in Philippines. Yeah. Same "ladka haath se chala jayega" line. Sigh. That was gonna be my first international visit. Damn. L'ed again.

The Pig

This is one very chilling poem put forth in a delightful manner.

In England once there lived a big
And wonderfully clever pig.
To everybody it was plain
That Piggy had a massive brain.
He worked out sums inside his head,
There was no book he hadn't read.
He knew what made an airplane fly,
He knew how engines worked and why.
He knew all this, but in the end
One question drove him round the bend:
He simply couldn't puzzle out
What LIFE was really all about.
What was the reason for his birth?
Why was he placed upon this earth?
His giant brain went round and round.
Alas, no answer could be found.
Till suddenly one wondrous night.
All in a flash he saw the light.
He jumped up like a ballet dancer
And yelled, "By gum, I've got the answer!"
"They want my bacon slice by slice
"To sell at a tremendous price!
"They want my tender juicy chops
"To put in all the butcher's shops!
"They want my pork to make a roast
"And that's the part'll cost the most!
"They want my sausages in strings!
"They even want my chitterlings!
"The butcher's shop! The carving knife!
"That is the reason for my life!"
Such thoughts as these are not designed
To give a pig great piece of mind.
Next morning, in comes Farmer Bland,
A pail of pigswill in his hand,
And piggy with a mighty roar,
Bashes the farmer to the floor…
Now comes the rather grizzly bit
So let's not make too much of it,
Except that you must understand
That Piggy did eat Farmer Bland,
He ate him up from head to toe,
Chewing the pieces nice and slow.
It took an hour to reach the feet,
Because there was so much to eat,
And when he finished, Pig, of course,
Felt absolutely no remorse.
Slowly he scratched his brainy head
And with a little smile he said,
"I had a fairly powerful hunch
"That he might have me for his lunch.
"And so, because I feared the worst,
"I thought I'd better eat him first."

- Roald Dahl