Observation

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

They are a changin'

Yep. I'm late. Too much has happened at too many levels since the last time I posted anything serious and this time is not going to be different either. This is just to update you folks that I'm still live and kicking.

A lot of things are changing every instant as I stand at the threshold of being 25. Friends are getting married, others are splitting up. Careers are being built while many are still stagnating. Terror has mutated to a whole new nightmare level. Climatic conditions all over the world have reached a never seen before record. I am attempting hair growth on my head.

True. A lot has changed.

But plenty of it is still the same. The government still sucks. I still regret pursuing an MBA. Stairway to heaven sounds just as good. My mother is still hell bent on looking for a good ladki for me. Himesh Reshammiya still claims to be the best. I am still awesome.

So there. Those were the updates.

I'll leave you with a song I'm currently re-hooked to.

I don't ..

And I'm liking it.

A case to solve all cases

Lalbadshah is a 24 year old Happy-go-Lucky single male. He has been generally healthy all his life except for a few minor injuries and hails from the emerging metropolis called Bengaluru, erstwhile known as Bangalore. Population statistics and demographics of the city are available in Exhibit 1.

He has recently joined a premier management institute called Not-ABC Institute of Management located in the hinterlands of Uttar Pradesh in a scenic village called Prabandh Nagar. The Map of this village marked with the location of the college and local liquor stores named after the ubiquitous fraction, 3.4, is available as Exhibit 2.

Initially, Lalbadshah, henceforth referred to as L in the case, found the place quite charming. The facilities were good and the Mess was a drastic improvement as compared to the food available during his undergraduate days. The weather was not quite to his liking but he thought he could ‘handle’ it.

Soon, the days got longer, the classes more annoying the weather seemed out to take his life. A detailed description of the factors including shattered dreams, incompetent faculty and their motivation to shove articles up his orifices are mentioned in Exhibit X which unfortunately cannot be displayed here. L’s frustration levels grew at a rapid pace as he could neither comprehend why he was being taught the Network Layouts of computing used in the ancient roman empires nor could he understand what professors meant by increasing market elasticity, a term hitherto used only in the context of pyjamas and Nappi Pads.

He is now caught in the crossfire of handling Power and Politics as part of his role in the Student Council and his academic performance issues which continue to bog him down all the time. The stress has led to him being caught napping several times in class and a general sense of despondency in his otherwise cheerful demeanour. His friends complain that he is no longer as awesome as he used to be although there is still no competition even close in sight.

L has mapped his emotions on a scale ranging from “I need a nap” to “WTF am I doing here” and the corresponding graph has been presented in Exhibit 3. His mood is a consistent level of ‘Frustrated’. To add to his pathetic state, there is a general lack of presence by the fairer sex both in his college and his life. The only solace is the presence of a few sane friends who share his pain.

Advise L as to what his strategy to cope with his current crisis should be. Who is to blame? What should have been done and what can be done? Also, discuss what could be the driving factor for him to come up with this post when he has 2 long drawn company forms to fill and 3 quizzes to prepare for. Forms, quiz details and list of other not-so-important activities are not in any exhibit as the author does not think they deserve such undue importance.

PS: Exhibits will be exhibited shortly. Bear it.

Random Rant

I hate
getting back
to being what I am
from being
what I could be.

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PS: Cramped schedules forbid me to blog more often. Will resume soon enough.

Clarify what?

There is something eerily funny in how people have inquired about my views on the recent spate of bombings all over India. "How come you haven't written about all this? I thought you would." What's funnier is how some think they are being politically correct by saying, "All Muslims are not like this. But a majority, the moderate ones, keep silent and that is what's annoying." Earlier, you would have gotten replies from me that you want to hear. Not now.

Let's put it this way: Did you find this "moderate" Muslim dance in joy when these bombings took place? Did no Muslim die in the explosions at all? Do you find these same moderate Muslims defending what happened? I doubt. You only defend those you choose to represent.

I will not clarify what I stand for just because some arbit dick sitting on "intelligent" reports based on the oh-so-non-anonymous email claims says that I owe the nation an apology. I don't owe anyone an apology nor an explanation. Because I do not represent those responsible for these acts. I represent the Muslim Community in India and it has nothing to do with what these guys claim to do it for.

What I do have, is an opinion. My opinion, among other things, is that religion is a private affair. I will not intrude in your private affair and will not allow you to intrude into mine. My religion does not allow me to kill random innocent people on the road. Hence if someone follows the religion I follow, he will follow the same principle. Anyone who doesn't, clearly doesn't belong to my religion. Even if he was born into it. In my opinion, he cannot be stopped because he has no logic that can be appealed to.

My opinion is also that all civilisations that begin, must end. They will do it under several pretexts or contexts. And in phases. If it isn't meteors or the ice age, it's Race or the N-bomb. If it's religion and fuel today, it will be water and The Markets tomorrow. I believe that your question, or my opinion, is not above this cosmic agenda, rather, a part of it. We are not Gods. We are merely players. Shakespeare got that centuries ago. It's time you get it too.