Monday, September 07, 2009

Mid Air Trap

Most of us have probably faced this often but never noticed it. You never see it coming. But once you're in it, there is no escape. For a while at least.

All the airlines in India mostly have either the Boeing 737 or the Airbus A320 models for domestic travel which have a single narrow corridor along the length of the aircraft. Sometime around 10 minutes after the flight has settled at a comfortable altitude, the announcement of refreshments being served/sold is made. Now I'm not sure if it's the AC, the word 'refreshments' or simply my bladder muscles reacting to the dizzying heights, I almost always have this urge to relieve myself at that very instant. I look out into the corridor and see that although the doors show green, both ends of the passage are blocked with pretty girls guiding metallic trolleys moving at a painfully slow pace who refuse to move backwards to accommodate my needs.

Several times have I walked into this trap and spent uncomfortable moments looking awkwardly outside the window hoping to be distracted.

Is there hope at the end of the corridor for those who suffer this fate? Yes. Following are a simple set of guidelines which can help you resolve the predicament:

  • As soon as the sign for seat belts goes off, rush to fulfill your destiny
  • Book a seat towards the ends of the aircraft
  • When you gotta go, you Gotta-Go
  • Don't drink, don't pee.
Hope that helped. Good luck.