Wednesday, October 31, 2007

On Rajyothsava

Contrary to my prediction more than a year ago, The Gowda Dynasty, what with all the switching sides faster than (insert funny simile here), has recently performed a political ejaculatio praecox which undoubtedly marks the end to their regime within a couple of years, whatever be the outcome of the current turmoil. Its open declaration of "Balls to promises, we're just not done swallowing the state coffers yet" attitude has given more weight to my argument that democracy is a farce.

A person who has been the Prime Minister of the country is expected to consider such bitter squabbles not worthy of his attention unless its due to:
a) The onset of senility, which comes rather early to politicians.
b) He forgot to spank a particular Ex-Chief Minister in his childhood.

Both plausible reasons, but still, I see no alternatives, nor hope for a better solution. No elections means that Yedi, who was last seen begging on streets for justice, would pound on what's left of my tax contributions like an unfed mongrel for the next 2 years or so. Elections would require of the Congress to put up someone much more charming than the dead pan Dharam Singh, who has fewer facial expressions than Himesh Reshammiya's behind.

Yet another year has passed as Karnataka celebrates its Rajyothsava today. The roads are still bad, software engineers still complain and I'm still single. As always, the government is to blame.

Saturday, October 27, 2007


Dear Deaf Old World,

If I wanted to tell, would you really listen?
Or would you pretend, as you always have
to understand life through filters
of shattered beauty and faulty reason.

Yours Truly,

Tuesday, October 23, 2007


Radiohead's new album In Rainbows is making records of sorts with their unique marketing and distribution strategy. Releasing it as a free download version on the internet, they have given the option to their listeners to pay whatever they felt the artist deserves, including nothing. Not too surprisingly, the venture has turned out to be pretty successful with more than a million downloads in the first week itself and counting!

My addiction to music comes in phases where I simply get hooked on to a song or a band and these phases seem to come in cycles. Currently I'm back, floating yet again in the Radiohead Realm. They have always occupied a unique position in my Altar of Kickass Music along with U2, Pearl Jam, Tori Amos and a very few select others. With that weird yet-so-sensible lyrical sense that has only PJ to match, their music has inspired several other newer groups such as Coldplay and Travis.

Karma Police is arguably their best song and by default, one of my top 10 (I shall put up this list here someday). If you haven't yet heard the song, do sample it in the form of this brilliant video:

Lyrics and a few facts about the song. (Still can't help listening to this one yet again.)

Oh, while you're at it, do check out Fake Plastic Trees , Paranoid Android (NSFW) and of course, the more famous Creep. All magnificent pieces of work. In Rainbows is no less. Download it, and judge it on your own.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

The Fallacy of Inheritance

A year ago my father picked up a huge argument with my neighbour whose coconut tree was generously shedding massive branches on our rooftop. Silly argument, but that lead to a cold war of sorts between them. They own a really annoying dog and do not have a hot daughter, so obviously I sided with my father and contributed to the continued detachment that existed between us.

Now, my sister who came down a month ago, wasn't really aware of the situation and went straight to their house to give them chocolates. The neighbouring aunt, in return, was genuinely nice to her and spoke to her like a long lost niece. While analyzing the situation it struck to me that although I knew what had occurred between my father and them, my sister didn't, which was the primary reason why things got better between us.

Extending the analysis, what I'm trying to prove, is that we take a lot from our parents and elders while we are/were young. Not just their physical attributes but their ideas and ideologies too are defaulted to us. This is good to an extent as we do need morals, but along with that come their subtle hints of biases, contrived reasoning and faulty logic. Face it, nobody has the ideal ideals.

The current Indian generation for example, has been unfortunate in a sense to have had to rub shoulders with those who actually witnessed the Partition and hence have a deep rooted hatred for their neighbours which makes them blind to all possible reasoning behind the cause and insist that everything evil stems from the other side of the fences. Worse is the fact that a huge chunk of the younger generation inherits this hatred and laps it up without hesitation and questions. Education today involves solving math problems and not questioning the ideas of the teacher about the preferred form of governance. What people need is unlearning and rethinking of possibilities. Surely, some logic has survived in all of us. This, again unfortunately, seems to come to less than 10% of the populace and hence will really take hundreds of years before the bias is wiped clean from living memory.

The same reasoning holds when I say that as Indians, unlearning must be promoted when it comes to caste, corruption and the myriad ancient inherited concepts. Sadly, to unlearn, we need guides who will volunteer to admit that what they have been preaching all their life is sheer bullshit and must be forgotten. Which, in itself, is too far fetched to even hope for.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Random Rhetorical Question 3

Closing line from Civil War - Guns n' Roses :-

What's so civil about war anyway?

Sunday, October 14, 2007


As I exhibit appalling levels of gluttony while feasting on Sheer Khorma, Katheeragun Sherbet, Biryani and other assorted delicacies, here's wishing you and your family..

Eid Mubarak!!

For the uninitiated, Eid marks the end of Ramzan, which is a month where all Muslims observe fasting and practice constraint and control in every human tendency such as hunger, thought, speech and actions. The Prophet once said that a man who can control the two troublesome muscles, one between his lips and the other between his legs, is worth much respect. The first, I tried my best. As for the latter, I didn't have to try too hard. See? There are advantages of being 23 and Single.

Sunday, October 07, 2007


I've always considered myself to a be a fearless guy. Seriously. Stop laughing. Surely I had to be. I watched The Exorcist at the age of 14 and frankly found it boring and gross while my peers narrated to me in hushed tones of people who pissed in multicolor and died in fits of spasms post watching the same. I relished reading vampire and werewolf stories and more often than not sided with the creatures of the night. I even moaned their killing with not-so-uber-cool weapons such as garlic sauce when they definitely deserved a more fitful ending. A lot of that has changed since last Tuesday.

The wailing started at around 1:30 AM. It was clear, shrill and bang outside my bedroom window. It was the sound of mixed emotions. The two women (there were two different pitches) seemed to be in alternating throes of pain and pleasure. Lesbian banshees were never really a part of my fantasies hence it wouldn't be an exaggeration if I said that I was shitting bricks. And all my planning at nights of how I would unleash a kung fu storm in case of such an eventuality came to naught as I simply lay frozen on my bed.

This continued for about 15 full minutes before I could hear my parents in the hall mumbling about neutering all cats. Cats. The integral component of my worst nightmares second only to crocodiles as my primary nocturnal foes. Nevertheless, I was forced to go out with a bucket of water in hand to throw at two mangy cats that were humping away like there was no tomorrow. My neighbours soon joined me in this grand act of what could scientifically be called as enforcus coitus interuptus.

As I got back to bed I realised how shaken I really was. It wasn't just the cats. I'm almost 24 and am supposed to stand up and defend my house no matter what. With my now aged parents, sister and 4 year old niece in the house, I was supposed to guard them while I was actually playing chicken in bed. What if it were indeed a violently horny pair of lesbian banshees? What would you do?

Monday, October 01, 2007

Cute Baby Pics

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